I don't know if it's the time of year or it's just another coincidence. I think sometimes the year feels very heavy. I don't realize it but I get weighed down a lot by the past or what has happened... usually just within the year unless it was a particularly major event. But, the year has changed now. It's new, it's fresh.
However. I also spent the last 48 hours of my life with almost every single person I love... and that loves me deeply.
First and foremost. C and P graced us with their presence.
Palmer Ellen Harring made her debut at 2:36 PM on December 31st, 2013. At a whopping 5 lbs and 12 ounces this tiny peanut (as my first niece) as stolen my heart. Followed shortly thereafter at 2:38 PM by her brother Connor Davidson weighing in at 7 lbs and 11 ounces. He's a big sweet boy and I didn't know it was possibly to spread so much love among three little boys now rounding off the group of nephews. They are pure love and innocence, I can't stop gushing as a proud Auntie and can't wait to hold them again.
Additionally, "we went out last night". I loved all of the time I got to spend with my very best friends (missing those few) ringing in the new year. I couldn't have imagined a more fun night with all of my friends saying Goodbye to 2013 and Hello 2014.
"Talk about young. Talk about fun. Craziest thing we've ever done. Talk about kids being caught up in this rush."
Spending time with people who deeply care about me, and love me, and who are interested in me always sparks this feeling and these emotions in me. I need to remember to do this more often. It's so refreshing and it gets you out of being bogged down by your day to day. I have the most loving friends and family. I adore them. If you can do anything for someone, love them. Love them to the core, deeply, unconditionally. Love them for who they are. Who they want to be. For their dreams, their hopes, their fears. Just love them. "L'amore domina senza regole" ("Love rules without rules") is permanently on my hip because I will always believe that love will prevail. Love rules. And it's the only thing that rules without definite rules... without regulations and restrictions. Love is free. And it's open. And it has choices. And you can give to whoever you want. As much as you want for as long as you want.
Sometimes I try to outgrow this life. Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes I forgot that I'm twenty something. And that's what you do when you're twenty something. That's the age. It's growing. Sometimes I look at how far I've come and forget how far I have to go... in love, life, maturity, spiritual growth. It's going to be a journey... and I CAN wait to get there. I can take it slow. I can enjoy the ride and love it deeply. This is the only journey I'm going to get.
That was the topic of discussion at church on Sunday and I passively listened and "once-over"ed and wanted to be engaged in the topic but didn't feel related to it. I thought, I'm not NOT enjoying my life, my journey. I'm constantly assessing it and looking it over and trying to take a new perspective. But, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm taking new perspective that are similar perspectives. So now I'm understanding more.This year I'm giving myself permission. Permission to make mistakes. To do whatever I want. To experience. To grow. To develop. To think. To cry. To love. To care too much. To care too little. To travel. To make mistakes... if you know me at all. You know I'm kind of a perfectionist. I hate doing something if I don't know that I will do it 100% right. I HATE making mistakes. I always feel embarrassed and ashamed. So that's my goal, not be afraid of making mistakes.
However... my one word THIS year (because I hope this works so well that I do it foreverrr) is
My overall goal this year is to SHED the things that are unnecessary in my life.
1. Weight
2. Baggage
3. Drama
4. "Stuff" Just things...
5. Negativity
I was thinking about what word I wanted to have this year and was really just thinking about the things that are making me unhappy or less happy. I want to live a fulfilled life and thinking of "shedding" all this extra stuff I didn't need brought me a lot of hope and happiness. The word more or less chose me.
So. I hope you enjoyed this post, if not, oh well :) Thanks for trying it out anyways!
I do encourage you to think of one word you can commit to this year. 365 days of living through one word. And submerge yourself in that word. Stay tuned for my submission of Shed :) It's about to get real.
